Well, I had one doozy of a day today. I am exhausted just thinking about it, and I haven't had a day this bad in a long time. It reminds me of a journal entry I wrote a while back, called I Knew There'd Be Days Like These. I tried to keep from getting too gross in my description below, but there were just some details I had to include to describe the full horror of my day. So if you have a weak stomach, you may not want to read on any further.
Last night was one of those nights where we had a bad thunderstorms. So we had one of those "Sound of Music" nights where we piled all three of the wide-eyed and not moving much little guys into our bed for a while. So needless to say, they didn't sleep too well last night and we didn't either. Then Alyssa came in some time during the night after having a scary dream. She woke Dave up this morning by pounding on his stomach in her sleep. So after all that, I was glad that they slept in a little bit in the morning.
One of the trio had a nice runny little diaper for me this morning. That was a nice way to start my day. So we wrestled through diapers and getting dressed and I finally got them ready to eat breakfast. Then the phone rang, and, of course, the kids were screaming until I got off the phone. I was lucky that the kids were in a mood to eat a quick breakfast this morning. I also had a breakfast conversation with Alyssa about how much people talk. She asked me if I liked to talk and I said I was somewhere in the middle, but I didn't think I liked to talk as much as she did. She said, "Yeah, I like to talk a lot." I couldn't agree more.
So with the kids sleeping in getting us off to a late start, we were late getting Alyssa to preschool. Maybe just a few minutes, so that wasn't too bad. But I must say how much I love the drop off in the front of the building where they come and get her! (Yikes, I still have to show you first day of preschool pictures, huh?) Because we were running late, I left the kitchen as is. That means sticky oatmeal and applesauce covered bowls and bibs, and applesauce artwork and chunks of oatmeal on the table, among other things (I'm trying not to be too gross). Also, I am supposed to give Jack a breathing treatment 1st thing in the morning, but I hadn't done that yet, either. Since we were late, we had to leave without doing that, too.
As I pulled the van back into the garage, I pulled over to the side a little since Dave and his car weren't home. I did this to make more room on my side of the van (it's a tight squeeze sometimes). Bad idea. I hit the ladder as I was parking.
Then I unbuckled the child who was behind me. We'll call him Nick, to protect his identity. Then I went around to the other side, and opened the door. There was Nick standing there saying, "Poopy." He had it on his hand, forehead and it leaked over the top of his diaper onto his clothes. I screamed in horror at the sight, and then put him under my arm to keep him from contaminating anything else. I was able to unbuckle the other two with my other hand, and I am so glad that they are big enough to climb out of the van by themselves. Once I shepherded them all inside, I went to detoxify Nick right away. By then I realized he had leaked onto my pants too and he needed a complete change of clothes. After I cleaned him up a bit, I washed him off with cold water, reminding him not to touch the poopy anymore! Then when I put him down, I realized that he had dripped diarrhea onto the carpeting. Yuck! Then I cleaned that up with a baby wipe, which worked really well. Then I went to go get new clothes for Nick and me.
Then it was time to give Jack a breathing treatment. I decided to let the oatmeal go a little longer to reach the concrete stage. While I was cleaning up Nick, his siblings had crawled behind the couch (their new favorite hideout) and were turning his nebulizer off and on anyway (I hid it in the corner behind the couch thinking it was safe there). So I guess that was a sign to do the breathing treatments now.
The only way to get Jack to sit still for the whole time is to turn on a Baby Einstein movie and point out everything I can in it. I don't really feel like talking too much, because I have bad allergies and a sinus infection, but it works for a good 10 minutes. Jack is to the point where he will hold the mask to his face himself. But today, I guess his teddy bear (Baba) was pretty sick, because apparently Baba needed more breathing treatments than he did. (Oh, did I mention he fell and hit his head recently?)
At this point, I was still trying to figure out if the kids were having an allergy reaction to a food or if they were sick, so I emailed my husband asking him if they had eaten anything new. But while I was writing the email, I remembered that I forgot to check the van to see if Nick had leaked all over his carseat. But on the way there I saw this. Another mess on the side of the couch where Nick had leaked on our way into the house. Ewww! That was fun to clean up. So I started working on it when I realized I had grabbed the carpet cleaning spray instead of the upholstery cleaner. Uggh! The kids were so curious the whole about what I was doing and wanted to touch the foam. I kept saying "Gross. Don't touch. It's diarrhea." My kids have now perfected saying the word diarrhea. Now that's something you want your 2 year old walking around and saying. I was very frightened to check the van after that, but I was spared again. It looked like Nick didn't touch anything or mess it up. But what do I know? I can't smell anything as my nose is completely plugged.
After that I tried to clean up the kitchen. I swear it took me an hour between all the fights, time outs and boo boos I had to kiss, not to mention all the times I had to pull a kid out from behind the couch. Then they started to escape under the baby gate, which someone decided didn't need the boards under it anymore to keep them in. Maybe I should have used the cushions from the couch that they put into one big pile.
So then I shooed them all upstairs. By then, they did something that made me mad, and I made the very mature decision to vent my frustration by slamming a door. But guess what happened. The door responded by spitting out screws and 2 of its 3 hinges came off. I had brought the kids upstairs so that I have could work on some laundry. Looks like I hit another detour. I quickly ran to the toolbox, but by the time I made it back with a screwdriver, they were all 3 sitting on the floor playing with the screws. Oh, what a great mom am I to let my 2 year olds play with those! So I finally got took them back from their hands and shooed them away, so that I could put the door back together before it fell on them. However, I am still missing one screw. I hope they didn't swallow it. It will pass through though, right?
We have been living out of laundry baskets all week, so I was back to my goal to get a little done now that I was down to only 3 kids! We have these 3 red Elmo chairs upstairs and there were fights over those. I don't get it. There are 3 of them. There are 3 chairs. They all look identical. What is there to fight about? But somehow with things like that going on, I actually did get one load of laundry put away and another one started, especially after they decided it would be fun to play in a different crib (go figure why that would be fun).
Then it was time to leave to pick up Alyssa from preschool. I started with putting shoes on. Simple enough task, right? Well, apparently they had their own idea of what shoes they wanted to wear. Drew kept grabbing a tennis shoe, Jack wanted to put on Lauren's black Mary Janes, and Lauren kept saying no to what I offered her. So I went ahead and put Jack's crocs on him. I put Lauren's clear sandals on her, but discovered that one strap had broken free on one side. (I blame Jack, who is always trying to put those shoes on, but his feet are too big for them.) I decided that they were good enough for what we needed. By that time, Jack had pulled his crocs off already and was crying "No no." I finally convinced Drew to let me put his brown sandals on, but the whole time he kept saying, "Drew do it. Drew do it." He said that last time, meaning that he wanted to put his sandals on by himself. But then when he figured out he can't work those tricky Velcro straps, he asks me to help him put them on, so I thought I was just saving some time by doing it myself. By that point, Lauren had taken off her sandals and brought them to me saying, "This. One. This. One." It was as if she had come up with the brilliant idea to put the clear sandals on all by herself. Whatever. At least the 2nd time I put them on they stayed on. I finally convinced Jack the fashionista to put on his brown sandals. And it was about this time that I discovered that I had another Nick blowout to clean up. We were officially going to be late for preschool pick up now. I quickly changed Nick's diaper and put him into new clothes. I ushered the kids out into the garage and said "Hurry hurry. We have to get Alyssa." I was completely shocked when they actually got into the van and into a carseat quickly. It seemed to make them feel important to be in a hurry.
Another thing I love about this preschool is that it's a short drive. I have clocked it at 3 minutes. So we parked, and I went to get the kiddos out of the van. Drew got out of the van before I did, but luckily didn't run off. I had his and then Lauren's hand, then Jack got out. I have figured out how to hold two little hands in one of mine, and I was holding out my fingers for Jack to grab. But noooooo. Jack had his mind made up that he wanted to be picked up. I told him no and he threw himself down on the ground. I picked him up and sort of dragged his limp body to the back of the van. But then I saw other people and decided I didn't want to deal with the stares or the "I'll call CPS" looks, so I moved Lauren over to share Drew's hand and picked him up. (I hate caving in like that, but we were late enough already!)I had meant to grab a snack to eat on the way, but in the midst of The Great Nick Clean Up, I had forgotten, so by this time I was also starting to shake from low blood sugar (I have hypoglycemia). It just really adds to the fun when you are shaking and dragging 3 toddlers into preschool, let me tell you.
So since we were late, we had to wait in line to pick up Alyssa. I felt like I was hearing a bomb tick. It was only a matter of time before at least 1 out of 3 of the little people I was with didn't want to stand in line anymore and exploded into a tantrum. But they actually did pretty well (or God had mercy on me and sent and angel to keep them in line). The utter chaos and craziness of pick up time in the small hallway seemed to keep them entertained. Also, my neighbor works at the preschool, and I ran into her. She kindly offered to help me with pick up time, too. So things were looking up!
We survived and got to see my friend girlfriend on her way out. It's always nice to talk to a mom who is in the trenches with you. Then during the walk out to the van, the other side of the strap on Lauren's sandal gave out. So that turned it into more of a flip flop with an ankle bracelet on it. She loved those shoes and it freaked her out a little bit. She kept saying "broken" but my friend convinced her to put her foot in anyway.
RIP Clear Shoes: 2005-2008
We made it to the van, the kids jumped in, and then proceeded to pummel each other fighting over who was going to sit in what car seat. I was so fried by then I didn't care and let them have it at. I was also too busy venting to my friend about some highlights from my fun day.
So then we headed home for lunch. This time parking in the garage, I not only hit the ladder, but the ladder hit something else that fell and hit the van. I was in the middle of explaining to Alyssa our elaborate scheme to get Jack to the doctor while Dave helps me with the kids and coaches a tennis match, and had to jump out and check the van. So I left her hanging and she didn't like that to much. Luckily, there is just a little ding in the hood. We'll fix that when we repair the paint that came off when we tried to back out of our driveway during the blizzard of '07 (it was more like a tunnel than a driveway).
So back in the house, I tried to get the kids to take their shoes off. I was only halfway successful when Alyssa started screaming in terror. Apparently Jack had slammed her thumb in the coat closet door. He was standing in the corner with his own look of terror on his face - terror of what was going to happen to him, that is.
After that was resolved, I struggled to get some lunch on the table amongst all the screaming and crying. So I decided that this would be a good time for the kids to leave Daddy a voicemail at work. So after 3 tries, because my frustrated and fried nerves prevented me from dialing a phone correctly, I held up the phone without saying anything to each of the 3 crying kids. Then I gave the phone to Alyssa, who was whining to talk on it, and had her say "Daddy, everyone is crying here." Ahh. That made me feel better. Misery loves company. This is something I do often; call his work and don't say anything, but let him hear the 3 crying kids. Then when he gets home he thanks them for calling. Anything to vent! Sometimes I leave messages of him snoring when I can't sleep, too.
Then after I threw the food at the youngest 3 kids, Alyssa threw another fit about something. I think it was something about cheese. She threw herself onto the stack of couch cushions. I think she looked like an imitation of The Princess and the Pea. I finally used the "don't mess with me" voice and got her back to the table. I still hadn't eat by this point and was feeling really badly, so I just went ahead and made my lunch while the princess was finishing her royal fit. She finally did eat part of the tortilla with peanut butter and a cheesestick creation she had asked me to make, though.
Then it was time to go back upstairs. That wasn't so easy as I think someone else got injured there, too. It is all starting to blur now. Then I went to change Drew's diaper and Alyssa yelled that Lauren was with her. I started to hear a sound that I thought was crying, but Lauren never came and got me so I thought it was laughing maybe. Then I heard someone or something hit the wall. Drew said, "Thunder. Boom. Boom." (I think he is still a little scarred from last night.) But then I heard the laughing/crying sound again, so I figured it was ok. I went to check Jack's diaper, and I heard the same sequence of sounds again. So I went into Alyssa's room and said it was time to change Lauren's diaper. I asked Alyssa if Lauren had been laughing or crying. Alyssa said, "I made her laugh." I said, "How did you make her laugh? Show me?" Alyssa paused, and then Lauren started jumping on the bed. Then Alyssa smiled and admitted that they had been jumping on the bed until they ran into each other. I was picturing bodies flying through the air, banging heads and landing in a crumpled heap on the floor. Then I pictured me trying to get all 4 little bodies to the ER by myself. But apparently the girls didn't picture any of this. They just saw it as completely hysterical.
So then being the mean Mommy that I am, I took Lauren away from the-most-fun-she-has-ever-had-in-her-entire-life and I put her on the changing table. Can you imagine the nerve that I had in doing that? She kicked and flailed and screamed, which I didn't appreciate as my back already hurt like someone was stepping on it with a golf cleat (remind me to give you a health update, too). But, we managed to get through it, and I rounded up the kids to put on their sleep sacks. We have to put them on backwards and inside out now to prevent them from taking them off and removing their diapers (like they did last week). Then I put them in their cribs. However, I didn't put Drew in the crib with his Baba. So as I turned to get another kid, I see Drew out of the corner of my eye falling out of his crib. Luckily, one of the Elmo chairs was right next to his crib, and that gave him a soft landing. Apparently, he was on a desperate search and rescue mission for his Baba. I was just glad that he wasn't hurt and that I didn't have to return to the plan in my head of how to get all 4 munchkins to the ER. We have already been there once this week, after all! (Yeah, I really need to give you a health update.)
After that, I came downstairs and decided it was time to send my husband one more email. All I sent was a link. It was to one of my favorite blogs, called "Because I Said So" and it's written by a mom of 6 kids. The entry I sent him was called "I Resign." She said it so much better than I could have. If you would like to read it, click here.
I knew it was going to be a tough week this week, as Dave is coaching tennis matches on Tues, Wed, and Thurs. But I didn't know it was going to be this bad. All of this happened before 1:30pm! And we haven't even gotten to the part where we try to take Jack to the doctor yet. That's usually when the real fun begins!
Pray for us!
God bless,
Amanda
